To Be or Not To Be...In Control

Do you have to be in control of situations? A very interesting thing happened to me, in my bible study group we are going through some "life training" material. Last week we discussed the need to be in control. I took a simple survey: does it bother you when you're not in control?; does it bother you when things don't go your way?; do you try to change people?; do you get impatient when people don't do things right?; you get the point. And I thought, well YES, to all, but is that wrong?

I thought I'm not the type that needs to be in "control", I just offer "advice" on how to do things "right". Is that controlling? When my daughter or son calls to tell me what's going on and I say, well if you did this, or go there, or.... Now I ask you, is that being in control? Oh, My!

I was almost able to convince myself that this was not a form of control; then I thought about the time, it happened several years ago; I was working 40+ hours a week, coming home, being the wife, mom, housekeeper, etc. And I was tired but I made nachos for dinner, cleaned up the kitchen, put everything away, and went to bed. I got up in the morning and found a bowl on the counter. My husband had a nacho "snack" after playing basketball and left the bowl sitting on the counter, with dried cheese all inside of it! I cannot begin to write how much this upset me! I couldn't stop talking about it at work, I was THAT upset. After work, I go home, bowl still on the counter. I cook dinner, wash the dishes (I didn't have a dishwasher and only just got my first one 2 years ago after 35 years of marriage!); anyway, I left the bowl on the counter. I'll show him I thought. In the morning, the bowl was still there; after work it was still there; same dinner/wash dishes routine, and the bowl was still there. I left that bowl sitting there for 2 WEEKS! And do you want to know something? I was the ONLY one being affected by that dirty/cheesey bowl. I had an upset stomach every night waiting for my husband to do something about it, but he never did. I let a BOWL make me "sick"! Isn't that just wrong? Of course I washed the bowl and immediately felt better. Now who or what was I trying to be in control of? A bowl? My husband? It's funny now but it's just SAD that I ever let it go that far! Sometimes looking at yourself can be painful! But enlightening! And now, I honestly don't think my husband even realized that I was upset!

Okay, so now I know there is only ONE in control and I need to accept that and stop trying to run my children's lives and taking charge when it appears to ME that someone needs to.

So I ask you again, do you always need to be in control?