Thursday, August 16, 2007

My Life with "Arthur"

Yes, I've been married to Juan for 36 years but I've lived with "Arthur" for 27 of those years! Okay, okay, don't start calling all of your friends! "Arthur" is what I call my rheumatoid arthritis. It may sound silly to name it, but it's been around so long I don't think it will mind the informality!

"Arthur" has been treated with many medicines over the years. Some were extremely effective in the beginning. During the last couple of years the medicine I was on just wasn't doing the trick; meaning I had intense pain every day. A few months ago I found a GREAT doctor here in Arizona. He met with me a few times, took plenty of tests, then met with me to discuss my medicine options. He felt strongly that although I would always have "Arthur" in my life, he would be A LOT easier to live with! Cool, I'm all for that! So what are my options doc? Option one, I can self inject medicine A once a week...not liking the sound of that one; what's option 2? I can self inject medicine B every other're getting closer doc, what else do you have for me? Option 3, I can come into the doctor's office once a month for a THREE HOUR IV drip of medicine C!!! Are you serious doc? THESE are my only options? If you want your pain to gradually, practically be gone and get on with your daily activities, YES, these are the options for you. Well let's see here, sound's like a no brainer...I'll take option 2, self inject once every 2 weeks. This medicine is called Humira, you may have heard the commercial for it, the dumb song plays in my head every other Thursday! (I won't even get into the fact here that my California health plan carrier would rather pay UPS to deliver this "special" medicine rather than allow me to pick it up at the local pharmacy 5 minutes from my house!)

The next step in this journey was to be trained by the nurse on how to give myself this injection. WHOA! I'm not really even afraid of shots, but to give them to myself?! I tried and tried but just couldn't do it. She ended up doing it for me and my sweet, kind, adorable husband, who has been on insulin injections for 10 years, volunteered to give me the shots; and when I say "volunteered", practically before the nurse was even finished with my injection he was like, I'll do it, I can do it, Let me do it! Gee, isn't that sweet?

Did I say sweet, kind and adorable? I'll let you judge for yourself. So every other Thursday I have to have this Humira injection. On Wednesday night my husband is like, tomorrow's your you want your shot before you leave for work...what time do you want your you want it after would be easier first thing in the morning...

Do you all see where I'm going here? So every Thursday morning when I step out of the shower (I don't mean I only shower on Thursdays!) my husband is standing in the bedroom with the needle in his hand. Are you ready? Are you ready now? When will you be ready?

I am REALLY not trying to read anything into his actions...but I ask you, is it normal to be so gosh darn HAPPY to be injecting your wife????

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

To Be or Not To Be...In Control

Do you have to be in control of situations? A very interesting thing happened to me, in my bible study group we are going through some "life training" material. Last week we discussed the need to be in control. I took a simple survey: does it bother you when you're not in control?; does it bother you when things don't go your way?; do you try to change people?; do you get impatient when people don't do things right?; you get the point. And I thought, well YES, to all, but is that wrong?

I thought I'm not the type that needs to be in "control", I just offer "advice" on how to do things "right". Is that controlling? When my daughter or son calls to tell me what's going on and I say, well if you did this, or go there, or.... Now I ask you, is that being in control? Oh, My!

I was almost able to convince myself that this was not a form of control; then I thought about the time, it happened several years ago; I was working 40+ hours a week, coming home, being the wife, mom, housekeeper, etc. And I was tired but I made nachos for dinner, cleaned up the kitchen, put everything away, and went to bed. I got up in the morning and found a bowl on the counter. My husband had a nacho "snack" after playing basketball and left the bowl sitting on the counter, with dried cheese all inside of it! I cannot begin to write how much this upset me! I couldn't stop talking about it at work, I was THAT upset. After work, I go home, bowl still on the counter. I cook dinner, wash the dishes (I didn't have a dishwasher and only just got my first one 2 years ago after 35 years of marriage!); anyway, I left the bowl on the counter. I'll show him I thought. In the morning, the bowl was still there; after work it was still there; same dinner/wash dishes routine, and the bowl was still there. I left that bowl sitting there for 2 WEEKS! And do you want to know something? I was the ONLY one being affected by that dirty/cheesey bowl. I had an upset stomach every night waiting for my husband to do something about it, but he never did. I let a BOWL make me "sick"! Isn't that just wrong? Of course I washed the bowl and immediately felt better. Now who or what was I trying to be in control of? A bowl? My husband? It's funny now but it's just SAD that I ever let it go that far! Sometimes looking at yourself can be painful! But enlightening! And now, I honestly don't think my husband even realized that I was upset!

Okay, so now I know there is only ONE in control and I need to accept that and stop trying to run my children's lives and taking charge when it appears to ME that someone needs to.

So I ask you again, do you always need to be in control?

Saturday, August 4, 2007

Friday, August 3, 2007

My Busy Schedule

So what else is new?! EVERYONE is busy. But I was supposed to be RETIRED and staying home doing NOTHING! RIGHT! I found that wasn't for me. So now I'm working full time for my church and I'm LOVIN' IT! I am interacting with truly great people each and every day. But why am I so busy?

Well, let's see; besides working a 40 hour week at the church, I am on the decorating committee for our ladies church retreat, which begins August 16th. I have bible study, no, Devotional Life Study, once a week. Thank you God for bringing these wonderful ladies into my life!

I also have classes in my home each month for Stampin' Up! which requires a lot of preparation. Making samples, doing some cards for my self and scrapbooking some of my own family photos (I'm getting way behind!). I also meet with my down-line once a month. Have I forgotten anything?

Do I need to mention wife, housekeeper, and full-time grandPARENT to Junior? WHEW! I'm tired just WRITING it! But do you want to know something? I wouldn't trade ANY OF IT for ANYTHING!

Isaiah 40:31Yet those who wait for the LORD Will gain new strength; They will mount up [with] wings like eagles, They will run and not get tired, They will walk and not become weary.